You’ve heard this so many times, but it’s true—a good relationship is built on a foundation of good communication. In order to share your life with someone, you’ll also need to share your ideas, wishes, goals, and expectations. And if you’re to marry that person, communication becomes even more important!

If you’re engaged, there are some questions you’ll probably want to ask your fiancé before saying “I do.” Even though some of these topics may not be the easiest to talk about, but in order to say you truly know your partner, you’ll want to have these following conversations.

YOUR HOME

As they say, home is where the heart is. You’ll want to make sure that you and your future spouse can come to an agreement on home-related issues so that no hearts get broken later down the line.

– Where do you want to live (and where would you never live?)
– What work can we expect each other to do around the house?
– Will we host dinner parties and gatherings?
– How will we protect our home?

CHILDREN

First comes love, then comes marriage, then come…children! Have these conversations with your significant other BEFORE you have to, just to make sure there aren’t any glaring differences in opinion that may be problematic.

– How many children is ideal?
– How would you raise our children?
– Do we agree on vaccinations, schooling, and discipline?

FAMILY

When you agree to spend your life with someone, you inevitably sign up to take on their family as well. Talk to your partner about the role that their family will play in your life together.

– How often would you like to see your family?
– Where will we spend our holidays?
– How will you take care of your parents as they age?
– What can we expect for your parents as in-laws?

VALUES

Getting to know your partner is all part of the fun of dating, but before you agree to say “I do,” you should ask them these following questions regarding what’s important to them.

– Are you religious? How important is religion to you?
– How often do you exercise? Is that something you’d want to do together?
– What are your political views and does it matter if mine are different?

FRIENDS

Many married people attest to the fact that married life can complicate their relationships with friends. Figure this stuff out early so that you can include your friends in your life after marriage!
 
– How often will do you feel is reasonable to see our friends?
– Will we hang out with friends together or alone?
– Am I allowed to spend time one-on-one with a friend of the opposite sex?

RELATIONSHIP

This is the real stuff. Work together to understand your expectations from your relationship and (even though we know you don’t want to) think about issues that may arise, as well as how you will solve them.

– What do you consider cheating?
– Would you go to bed angry or prefer to resolve things first?
– Would you rather fight through the issue or leave the room to cool off and discuss later?
– Would you be my caretaker if I developed a serious illness or became paralyzed?
– How will we find ways to keep our romance alive through many years of marriage?

PREFERENCES

You probably played “would you rather” in middle school. Now’s your chance to do exactly that, and get to know your partner better!

– Do you prefer to be outside or inside?
– How much time do you want to spend alone when we’re home?
– What’s your favorite meal of all time?
– What should I NEVER make for dinner?
– Are you a home body or do you prefer to be out and about?

FINANCES

As much as you may not want to talk about it—especially if you’re particularly early in your relationship—finances are a necessary conversation topic to have before you marry someone!

– What do you spend the most money on?
– Do you have any expensive hobbies?
– Do you have any debt?
– How much money do you see us having in the future?

JUST FOR FUN

We decided to save the best for last! These “just for fun” questions aren’t as important as the others, but are still good to know about your future spouse!
 
– What’s #1 on your bucket list?
– What’s your dream car?
– Where would you like to travel?
– What’s your favorite outfit that I wear?

Communication is so vital to having a healthy, transparent relationship with your future spouse. Enjoy these conversation topics, and have fun getting to know your partner better!